thoughts on a sunday

just woke up, received a phone call.

i was supposed to sleep only for 30 minutes. the alarm kept snoozing. until the phone call... i love my canon in D ringtone.

thought i would go malling but i was brainwashed by my mother and sisters to stay in the house because it's sunday and surely shopping won't be a breeze specially during this season. oh well.

torn between putting money on envelopes and getting something special to gift wrap for my godchildren. kids won't like money, would they?

even if i slept the rest of the afternoon, i feel proud that i did something productive today such as my sideline job and handwashing shoes.

and oh! i forgot to blog about my two new pairs of shoes! one's green, the other's violet. got both of them for the price of 1 from the great converse sale last week at the megatrade hall 2. two new shoes seem to have ceased my desire for a pair of red shoes. good job!

i promised myself that i won't be buying ANYTHING for myself until i fully accomplish my gift list. 19 days to go, aimz... only 19 days! why do i seem to can't find the time to shop? maybe i'm just tired of the same old scenery when you enter those buildings and get bombarded with price tags that are somehow supposed to compensate for the lack of some things in our life. hehe drama o!

from fruitcake to pancake. i just need to know how deep or shallow are my feelings towards you. 'cause there are times when i feel like i've forgotten how it goes and i'm worried that i'm just being carried away by voices that i keep hearing. so now i'm implementing operation: deadmakels. i think it's working.

sometimes i get confused if i'm doing something wrong or i'm just being normal. people kept telling me i must "take the chance" but i just don't see the point of doing it or even prolonging the process when i'm sure of what i want and what i don't want. is that mean?

now i'm hungry.

dark circles

i can only remember a few days of my life when i had to deal with covering up dark circle around my eyes and it was probably caused by too much stress or over crying. i'm finding out that stress is not the sole reason for that because my youngest sister already has this problem. many products are claiming to repair this skin damage overnight but i'm not sure if that's really possible. my other sister uses concealer from time to time. i don't have a perfect skin and i struggle with pimples sometimes. i'll just be thankful that i don't have this additional dark circle trouble.

100 lbs.

an officemate's goal is to lower down her weight to 100 lbs. as soon as she can. it made me conscious of my own weight too but then i believe that weight isn't the only basis of health status because it can be pure muscle weight. i've lost pounds by limiting sugar and salt in my diet for a month or two. some people may need to take fat burners if their metabolism is slow or if they want to boost the response of their body to the workout / diet that they've just begun. good luck to my officemate and hopefully i could also get rid of the few extras left in my belly without doing anything specific because i'm too lazy. heheheh.

another dream home

weekends are the best. last sunday, my mom, bro and i went house tripping with brokers hoping to find a great place to move. there's one that i really really liked but it's way over the budget. it has a third floor which is an entertainment area, second floor with three rooms, first floor with a fairly wide kitchen covered with granite tile and last but not the least, the yard in bermuda grass. in short, a dream home. wish i could find a way to give my parents that kind of shelter without too much stress or hassle when it comes to paying huge amounts per month.

a new digicam

it's been a while since i've played around with photos. somehow my attention was diverted to some other things or some other gadgets after i dove in the digicam craze way back 5 years ago. before christmas, i'd like to have this new gadget but i also want to have a new phone, and new shoes, and an ipod, etc. enough enough enough.

so yesterday after work, i went malling and found digital cameras with discounted prices! i do not have that much strength to swipe my credit card because we're not done paying for some home appliances yet. sigh. i'll just chill and hope that my sidelines would compensate for these material desires.

monday night

weekend's great! i spent it in cavite with my bro's family and cousin who just arrived from dubai. it's the perfect diversion that i needed and hopefully the memories and this "alright" feeling would last another week.

i feel guilty sometimes when i wake up and the first thought that comes up isn't the thankful feeling but something else. i know "something else" is very vague but i'm always vague and i don't want to blog about that here. it's something just between Bro and myself.

i'm hungry. i just woke up and would need to prepare for work.

listened to natalie imbruglia's COME TO LIFE album for the past week. it's great! i love her!

so this is my last entry for november and tomorrow's the beginning of the real christmas season for me. i tried to shop around last saturday but there were too many people in the mall so i just decided to go home. i know, i know. stay-at-home loser.

i wanted to avoid the rush but it seems inevitable now. i came up with a list of a unique things that fit these people's personalities. let's hope i'd spot them easily.

here's what i've been wanting for myself these past few days:

1. red shoes
2. portable music player?
3. nokia 5530?
4. canon ixus 100IS
5. magic 8 ball

of course those are things that i can live without. and those with question mark (?) are... well... questionable stuff. i mean, i already have a phone that has a built-in music player and i don't know why i still want those two gadgets. those without question mark are what i currently don't possess. so there.

of course, girls and shopping and reasons. they all go hand in hand.

ok. time to go!

exit signs

my brother's my idol and he's a civil engineer. i love it whenever he shares his knowledge related to his line of work and then i'd get to brag about them to my friends. heheh just kidding. some of the things i learned from him are: whenever i enter a building, whether it be big or small, the first thing that my eyes would look for are emergency or exit signs. another thing is about the darker shade of paint on the lower or bottom part of corridor walls down to the stairs. i didn't know that they actually serve a purpose until my brother told me that it's the direction that you're supposed to follow when the building's on fire and you need to let yourself out, or at least know where you're headed. i thought it was all... style. anyway, happy weekend!

930PM

one of the best mornings i've ever had. ask my buddypoke why and what makes me smile. once again, i'm feeling lucky. it's just too bad my mind has changed about some things over the weekend and i stand firm (really now??? hehehe...)

that sounds like i'm doubting myself.

but hey, i'm not perfect! and i know that we can never be certain of anything in this life. and it's my dream to someday feel so sure about something you know. so sure, fearless, completely gratified... wait, i think i've blogged about this before. change topic.

dong, you're really weird. relax. i'll think about it again.

there are times when i feel like a guinea pig. like someone's evaluating my responses when placed under different circumstances, mingled with different types of people, exposed to unique sounds, feelings, etc. nothing i've encountered is completely the same. they're just... familiar. i cannot get my point across again, as usual.

to you who just found me, don't be amazed. it's just me. one day you'll wake up and won't find me as interesting as how you see me now. i'm not that colorful. i'm just me.

i don't like having a "rockstar" image to anyone's lens. eeeeww.

bits

30 days to go before christmas and 31 days till my birthday. wow... 27 years ago, i was only a heartbeat. look how big and noisy i am now!

no birthday plans yet but i want it to be different this year. instead of making myself happy, i'd like to do it the other way around. and i'll call this project "birthday happy". i'm sure i'll find a way.

today's good. shared smiles with new faces and i really love my new co-trainees! they're very easy and light and happy people. it's good to be surrounded by them.

discussions about moving to a new home is the new trend in this household. i will miss this place. every inch of it.

the key is to think happy thoughts.

i'm looking forward to that day when i will feel so sure, fearless and full of joy. i thought i've already felt it before. but looking back, nah. there's always this something awkward, something doubtful, and something wrong.

this bed always makes me feel sleepy. it's calling me to rest and recharge for tomorrow.

i am loved.

different

so tuesday's different and it's good. how come i change so easily these days? like i'm being more spontaneous than my usual self. maybe it's because of the weekend realizations.

i'm happy that one of my goals was accomplished smoothly and i even received a bonus. isn't it nice to have male friends who tell you the exact opposite of what your female friends say? it's crazy! but the fact that i was dubious about something is already a sign that something's wrong and i just needed someone to agree with what my conscience has been telling me. and thanks friend.

loving my co-trainees. fun people who seem to be on the same humor page and so i thank God for what He has prepared for me.

in the bus this afternoon, i thought about my baking days... my perfect brownies and the rest of yummy cookies i'd like to do. what's sad is, the oven is broken. tsk.

how many more days before christmas? WHAAAAAT?! hmmm... sounds like a need for shopping for gifts.

9PM is still early but i'm already sleepy. i have to unlearn things to make way for the new ones. this sleep is supposed to clean me up and defrag.